This is Halloween and a Time for Decisions.

I have never really liked Halloween. Valentine's Day has and will always have my heart. Dressing up has always felt incredibly stressful for me. I have this horrible mentality of go big or go home. I blame my mom for this in the best way. She always made us the most incredible beautiful costumes. One year she stayed up all night making me a Cats costume out of yarn. It was incredible. She also threw beautiful Halloween parties. The older I get the more I appreciate this as it takes so much time, effort and money to do all these things!

So two weeks away from Hallowen I still haven't decided on Gemma's Halloween costume. I can't dress her up like a princess on principle, so I sit around and stress about it as if I am deciding between something life altering. Oh it's hard to me sometimes. I was bouncing ideas off my two frineds lamenting over my hard core first world problem. Lauren put it to me straight. Dress up. It's fun. Pick a freaking idea and just go with it. So I did. I ordered the damn Queen of hearts costume for G, alice for me and told Joe he was being the white rabbit. Sorry babe. He is the best sport.

So don't worry the Campbell family has Halloween under control. Our neighborhood is fun on Halloween night. We have neighbors who serve hot fresh apple cider from their farm, another neighbor does homemade donuts, and lots of houses go crazy with Halloween decorations. Halloween night to me is Chili, candy, Caramel apples, and a stack of horror movies. Now that we have G we actually need to participate in the holiday so thank you baby Gemma for forcing your Grinch mother out.

This whole costume thing was an eye opener for me. I take forever to make decisions. Especially when it involves buying something. I have had a gap puffer Jacket in my cart for months. I need it. It is a great price. But I have yet to actually get it. This is probably a big factor in the question of why does Collett dress like a homeless person eighty percent of the time. Well after making this monumental costume decision I felt slightly empowered. I realized how good it felt to just choose, do, and conquer. CDC if you will. I have been looking for more and more opportunities to make fast decisions and boy did a big one present itself.

The piano. We have had my brother in laws piano for a few years in our house. The deal was he would take it when he bought a house. Well that day came. He bought a house and took his piano. I cried. I have never lived in a house without a piano (spoiled...like I said..it is really hard to be me). A very gracious wonderful friend gave me their piano. It needed quite a bit of work and would never have a great sound. I was planning on fixing it up and moving it in but this did not feel like a good option to me. My angel husband told me to make a plan find the piano I wanted and do it. So I did. I went to a store I found the piano I wanted and within ten minutes told them to wrap it up and deliver it. I did have a slight panic attack filling out the forms but instead I texted joe, "bought a piano it will be delivered tomorrow." to which he replied "that's awesome Lettie." Big shout out to Brigham Larson Pianos in Orem. I told him I had been without a piano for about two weeks and how tortuous that was for me...again, the drama runs deep....so Brigham said "well the next delivery I have is in two weeks but for your souls sake I'll get it to you tomorrow!" Talk about an understanding guy. Also how grown up am I to be buying a piano?! It is so beautiful and shiny. It sounds beautiful. I keep ducking my head into the living room just to check it out. Tonight while I was teaching lessons Joe sent me a video of G sitting at the piano carefully playing the keys. He wrote "G took me by the hand, walked me to the couch, chose a piano book, then sat down to play the piano for me." Cue all the awwwws. She constantly reminds me that she is watching my every move. I better be making good moves.

I have always preached GUMPTION! Gumption Ladies! (Gumption: shrewd or spirited initiative and resourcefulness). I am a little depressed to discover I am lacking a little gumption myself. Boy do I love self discovery. I may not be an executive of a business but I am the executive of at least two people, two dogs, and one household! So cheers to gumption CDC and less people pleasing! Look out Gap puffer jacket, I'm coming for you!

Ann(e) Said So

"I'm so glad I lived in a world where there are Octobers"
Anne of Green Gables

As previously mentioned I am a summertime girl. Hot days that warm you from the outside inward is my thing. However, I have lived in Utah for almost seven years (😱) and have a love affair with fall. Fall is a beautiful summer chaser. There's a few weeks in between the two seasons to mourn summer and then all of the sudden the leaves change the pumpkins grow and suddenly I remember why I love socks and boots and why I love Utah. I don't always love Utah. In fact I could list out 10 things I passionately detest about Utah at the drop of a hat but I won't because I can see yellow and Orange leaves. Utah puts on a beautiful show in October.

Utah also offers an endless supply of fall activities. Every picturesque fall thing you see in a movie or read in a book is available. Last year we had so much fun pumpkin picking drinking hot chocolate watching my collection of scary movies and baking. Joe has come to terms with the reality of our butter bill once fall hits. It settles back down around March. I'm not even a huge pumpkin flavor fanatic but I'm a huge fan of a warm kitchen at every possible second during fall and winter time. My favorite thing though is Chili and cornbread. We eat it all fall long. It smells good it feels good...Its a must.

Growing up in Arizona "fall" months were my absolute least favorite. Picture high school collett in September with a viola or violin overflowing backpack absolutely jammed to its breaking point MUN file folder full of research and MUN cash box. Now picture me walking all over our outdoor school in 100 degree weather. I was sweat soaked  10 minutes after arriving at school. Fall isn't really a thing. The cactus stay green the rocks stay brown and the sun keeps shining. As my mom would say "just one damn sunny day after another." So imagine to my absolute delight seven years ago when I experienced a real fall. The turning of each season has got to be one of the most spectacular magic tricks. It never gets old and I can't imagine living somewhere without all four ever again.

Tomorrow I am going to drive through the canyons with Sam Smith and Norah Jones....some old jazz music. Fall demands Jazz and slow love songs. I have been making playlists and CDs since the beginning of time. I have a song for everything. Each season gets a new playlist each year. I am still working on Fall2017 but so far its aces. The best part of my Fall drive will be stopping by the Provo bakery for Pumpkin donuts and saying hello to Campus. There were so many wonderful parts of being an English student at BYU but fall was the best. Fall semester was always better than winter semester. Reading every single assignment was actually enjoyable because a cozy blanket hot tea a book and fall go together like Lucy and Ethel. Sometimes when I'm behind on the dishes and I have sung Twinkle Twinkle Little star more times than I can count I start missing those college days. Hell, today I was missing high school days. I was driving along, happily running errands when I was hit by a tidal wave of nostalgia. How did I become a wife and a mother? I was 15 a week ago! Why am I not home with my mom? I  don't care how old you are but sometimes the only thing that can help is your mom. There doesn't even have to be anything wrong. Today was one of those days. I just needed my mom! It must be true that as we age we continue to think young. It is a beautiful and yet horrifying thought to me. Last week when I was fifteen I figured when I was the mom I would know everything and be able to make bread perfectly but I could not be more wrong! When does the know how for being a grown up kick in? Sometimes I feel like I have all my ducks in a row and I cling to those days wanting to take a snap shot of it's pure perfection to hang on the fridge because it is so much easier to remember the times when I fail and my ducks throw a rave in my living room instead of marching along in a row.

I started writing this yesterday. When I woke up this morning I woke to the news of the horrific Las Vagas Shooting. I do not even know how to resond to this. I have been thinking about it all day and I just feel sick. I have to raise a sweet tiny girl in this world where some people find it necessary to shoot up a country music concert. As of yet the authorities cannot uncover any reason behind the shooting. That is the worst part. It was just havoc. I hate senseless acts of terror and violence. I worry about raising children frequently. It's one of my anxieties. How do I do it? I read this blog once that said "I worry about raising my children in this world but then I look around and see other people just like me teaching their kids about kindess and goodness and magic." I wrote it out and hung it on my mirror for a long time, It is so easy (especially for me) to be consumed by fears and anxieties but as long as I remind myself that I'm not the only mother alive who believes in dance parties, long walks, chcolate chip cookies, ethics, kindess, glitter,  books, saying thank you and fall. There are so many just like me and so many better than me. I bet I could list fifty right now.

So as this day ends I cling to my faith over my fear and my love of fall. I'll drink my Starbucks Hot chcolate with whipped cream and pretend the calories don't count because it makes me so happy. I'll kiss up Joe and Gemma extra tonight and let Sookie sleep on the bed. I end this day so grateful for all my strength and glitter. I'll worry about my faults tomorrow.  I'll take my fall drive and show Gemma the yellow trees. I hope she feels the magic of fall.