I Ate All The Neighbor Gifts

I never participate in the neighbor Christmas gift exchange...mostly because I never get my act together to make them, assemble them, and deliver them. The same goes for Christmas cards. This year I decided to buckle down and get them made. My Brainiac sister told me what she was doing so I copied her! I love it when that happens. So I assembled the nativity story and tied it together with a beautiful ornament and made homemade toffee to accompany the paper and piece of metal cause lets be honest...it is all about the treat. So I made three batches of homemade toffee. The bagging and ribbon tying process went something like this....

"A piece for the bag, and a piece for my mouth! A piece for the bag and two pieces for my mouth!"

I ate most of the neighbor candy but I managed to bag several for others. Well it has been a week and that toffee is still in my fridge. Kind of. You see as the days go on I find myself at the refrigerator carefully untying one bag and taking a small "nobody will miss this" piece and then replacing the bag. The next day I will choose a different bag to snack from until, alas, I HAVE EATEN ALL THE NEIGHBOR CANDY! If I look like I have gained weight you know why. So next year I will spare myself by Grinching it up and partaking of my neighbors delicious treats that THEY bring me...and not making treats for the neighbors because I need new jeans now....which I could have purchased with the money I used to buy butter...in bulk.  I told my dad this today and he laughed which made me laugh. When we were done laughing he said "you're kidding right?"

"Nope. And I'm all yours dad!"

Anyone else miss being a teenager at Christmas time? Or a kid? I do. My mom made Christmas so magical. So much baking and the house was beautiful and the stockings were legendary.  One year my dad stood on a ladder in the back of his truck to put Christmas lights on the house. Mom and I sat on the stairs ready to call 911 in case he fell. Now as the mom it is my job to provide the magic. However, I don't remember ever thinking my parents seemed tired at Christmas time or worn out...I'm assuming they were because I am so tired and worn out that I don't think I will make it to my bed. I will stay here under the Christmas tree in the fetal position. I was expressing these feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion...ok I was whining...to a dear friend last night. I asked her why she loves Christmas so much? Isn't she tired of the consumerism and the shopping and the cleaning and the baking? She laughed and her eyes actually twinkled as she said
"Oh its all worth it to watch my kids open their presents Christmas morning, and it is all worth it because Christmas brings out the best side of people, and it is all so so magical". This friend and I Marco Polo once in a while and I love listening to them in the car. A) her voice is happy and soothing B) she keeps it real C) it is like listening to a personalized podcast. So today I decided to keep what she said in mind. Notice the good, feel the Christmas spirit, play the obnoxious Christmas music, make the cookies, and wrap the presents all with the end goal being to bring the magic. It worked! I got to talk to Gemma about the meaning of Christmas and about the nativity in a way that she understood and listened too. We made cookies together and danced hard to Christmas Music. I felt it today. I felt that Christmas magic...and not just because I am two sizes bigger and take up more room, but because I did regular things with a different attitude. I think Gemma had a good day. She stayed up late so we could read all the books and talk. I feel incredibly blessed to have her spirit in my home.

Another wonderful inspiring friend I have has been meeting her children's school bus everyday for the past 15 days as a live elf on the shelf frozen in hilarious scenes. Emily the elf was at the spa, kissing booth, helping Santa with his list, on a beach, eating spaghetti with Buddy the Elf and many many more. Today was the last day. She asked her friends to come dressed as angels to help meet the bus for the final scene which was a nativity scene. Gemma and I got to participate and it was an incredible experience. On past days when the bus pulls up the kids throw down their windows and laugh and shout and point. Today they put their windows down and silently witnessed Santa Clause holding a beautiful baby while Mary, Joseph, angels, Shepherds, and wise men watched. On the way home Gemma asked why we were angels. I told her that when Jesus was born the angels in heaven were so excited they sang and told the shepherds to go find him in the stable and worship him. She replied "You and me were angles when Jesus was born and we sing REJOICE!" I share this so I don't forget it. It was a very tender moment I got to share with my sweet little girl who is so perceptive.

So cheers to you! Merry Christmas. Remember to keep the magic. Be kinder, let the car with his blinker light on over!, dance, and DON"T eat all the neighbor gifts.
C

God Lives In Hawaii

When Joe told me he would be out of town for our anniversary my heart dropped a little bit. I plastered on my supportive wife smile and told him it would be fine and we could celebrate when he got home. However he had something different in mind. Joe explained he would be going to Hawaii and that I was coming along. The next three weeks waiting for this trip felt like eternity. I had never been before and could not wait to get lay out in the warm sand and relax for a few days. Our short get away meant so much more to me than just a good tan.

We arrived in Waikiki late Thursday night. After strolling the beach we had a late dinner and listened to the waves crash. It felt so nice to have a slow dinner. After a few hours of sitting on the dark beach I started to feel something different. The anxiety was gone, the self doubt was gone, I felt that peace thing people talk about.

The next day Poor Joe had to work but lucky me explored Waikiki a bit but mostly laid on the beach and people watched...and bought myself an extravagant pineapple drink. But you know what? Hawaii me did not care because I knew it would make me so happy. Throw your credit card around like you just don't care! Sometimes money can buy happiness. So, I decided not to care that it was an obscene price to pay for a pineapple and just buy the damn thing so that I could fully embrace my inner tourist. So there I sat with my large fruity drink, floppy hat, and selfie stick completely  content.

I cannot tell you the last time I sat somewhere all alone completely unplugged. I really like to have music going, or a book, or TV at all time because it allows my brain to focus on something else instead of my own thoughts. That sounds dark and a tad confusing but it's what I have always done. For as long as I can remember I have had noise in the background while I did homework or cleaned or fell asleep so that My brain wouldn't wander down "anxiety paths". In Hawaii I sat on that beach with nothing but the waves and felt so calm and happy. Once I realized it had been four hours and I should probably eat or drink (you know...basic human maintenance stuff) I was shocked that I was able to sit that long completely happy. I found myself striking up casual conversations with strangers, playing in the ocean alone and happy, dancing along the street cause why not without a care or thought in the world. I have NEVER felt that free. As Joe and I watched the sunset...the sun was streaming through clouds in such a heavenly way...I thought,
"This is Where God Lives"
Next thing I know I am crying on the beach. My sweet husband thinks I'm adorable...I hope. In all seriousness though I was ready to build a hut and set up base camp right there on the beach because I had never felt like this before in my adult life.
The Next morning we had lunch over looking the ocean. Why can't we have Pog outside of Utah? I will be figuring out how to make it. It was suppose to be a rainy day and I was worried my last day in Hawaii would be spent outside but as we drove to the mermaid caves the sun came out and we enjoyed a few more hours on the beach and exploring the Mermaid cave. Joe planned horse riding on turtle beach for the afternoon. If you ever get the opportunity to do this I highly recommend it. It was a blast to go through the jungle of turtle island as well as the beach. The woman leading our trail ride told us she was from Colorado but visited Hawaii every year on vacation. After one trip she realized she was miserable in Colorado and that she was happy in Hawaii so she packed up her life and moved to Hawaii. I love stories like that...people who recognize what they want and where they feel happy and make it happen.
We finished the day on sunset beach. It was the perfect ending to our trip. We caught the red eye home to freezing Utah. It was an unforgettable trip. I cannot wait to go back.