Toothfully

Until I got married I saw the same dentist, Dr Taylor. I loved going to the dentist. He would check my bite each time I went in and would call everyone into the office to check out my perfect bite. He referred to me as The Goddess. I never needed braces are any other kind of metal assistance in my mouth. I just simply got my teeth cleaned and went on my way every six months. People thought I was weird for boldly declaring my love for the dentist...but nothing bad ever happened to me in that office. Now as I lay here in bed with an ice pack strapped to my face I can join the masses of people who hate the dentist.  Just as Dr. Taylor has since retired so has my Goddess status and adoration for the dentist chair.

Pregnancy does all kinds of weird things to your body. For me, pregnancy shrunk my hands and feet, switched up some hormones, and has made jumping on a trampoline impossible. However, the worst thing pregnancy did to my body was to my teeth. I knew it was bad. I could tell I had issues with my teeth so I just avoided the dentist and learned what teeth I could and could not use!  Calvin told Hobbes..."I'm not in denial! I'm just very selective about the reality I see!". Well I caved and went to the dentist last summer. It was bad. I had nine cavities. NINE! Like cat lives and I had used all mine up. They were all over and some were in trickier places than others. Dr. Smith (a very nice jovial dentist but nonetheless a dentist who did not call my Goddess) recommended I quickly get them taken care of....so today, five months later, they are all filled in.

I had planned on getting them taken care of quickly but I stupidly decided to let Dr. Smith do the ones on the right side all at once. Not the top right...not the bottom right...just the right side. So that meant he filled in four cavities in one long three hour sitting. So much pain. I hurt for weeks after. He didn't just fill in cavities with cement but with demons to torment me. My ear ached my jaw ached my head ached. pretty sure I could hear dead people. I lost my nerve after that experience...after all I could chew all my food quite happily on the right side. This system worked great until the left side of my mouth jolted upright if a cold gust of wind blew into my unsuspecting open mouth. So I went back and did just the bottom left. Too bad the bottom half of my mouth would not go numb so he gave it all he had...meaning several long needles worth of foul tasting goo injected into my gums. So those two cavities on the bottom left had me in just as much agony as when Dr. Torture did the whole right side of my mouth. As I mentioned earlier...today I got the last three filled. Joe went out and got me an Slurpee right after G fell asleep, which I am now tentatively drinking and trying to keep myself from rinsing and spitting after every sip. The one good thing that has come from this dental nightmare is that I have cut waaayyyyy back on my soda consumption. Oh and Gemma. I would get them all filled in again for Gemma. When I got home I told her my mouth hurt very bad so we were going to snuggle and watch a show. She ran to the hall closet, stuck a unicorn band aid over my mouth, kissed me, and declared me all better. It helped too.

 
The moral of the story is:
1. Even if pregnancy is making you sick all day and the sight of a toothbrush makes you gag, brush anyway.
2. Don't sip your soda, just chug it and then rinse your mouth out
3. eat gummy candy and suckers if you want to but rinse your mouth out after
4. learn how to discreetly rinse and spit in public
5. go to the dentist every six months
6. Only go to a Dentist that refers to you as Goddess
7. Find a dental office with TVs on the ceiling
8. throw away your toothbrush after you are sick
9. neglect is expensive

Thank You

Gemma does and says many things that I love. I wish I could freeze her and keep her how she is now forever. Something that she does that I particularly love is that she says thank you if you compliment her.
C: "Gemma you are so smart!"
G: "Thank You!"
C: "G I love your outfit"
G "Thank you!"
...and so on and so on. I hope this is something that sticks with her from age to age. I am not sure where she picked this up. Not from me! When someone compliments me I tend to negate it and defend my flaws. If I was a lawyer I know I could convince any jury that my flaws were as blaring to the world as they are to me and anyone paying me a compliment must be insane! I do not have the grace to say thank you, smile and move on.
I have a friend who can smile and say thank you just like G does. You can say "oh Caitlin your talk was amazing!" and she smiles and says "thank you!" or "Caitlin your outfit is so classy!" and she says "thank you". When I first met her I pulled a When Harry Met Sally and thought "I'll have what she's having"...she must be on the best anti depressant ever because no one can just smile and say thank you. But as time went on and our friendship deepened I learned that she was in fact not on any antidepressant just confident and gracious. It is one of my favorite things about her. I tried it for a while but it is hard to break the habit of rebuffing any nicety thrown my way.

Joe has been out of town for the last few days and I am blown away by my tribe. Friends text, call, babysit, and bring treats. My family invites us for dinner, watches Gemma so I can teach and my mom has taken me out for dinner twice! I wish I lived around the corner from my mom. It is the best when she comes to town. Gemma is a huge fan too. My mom may live far away but she makes a huge effort with Gemma. She calls and facetimes weekly, sends presents, and fusses over her when we are all together. She teaches me about motherhood and gives me ideas of new things to try. I feel very lucky to have such an attentive mom. I am always sad when she goes back home.

I've had a few friends message me about Joe's travel. Yes it is true that he goes to beautiful cities all over the world and stays at nice hotels. However, his trips usually lead him in and out of airports, convention centers and a few restaurants. He usually starts his day around seven and ends it around one in the morning. He comes home totally exhausted. So while I do fight some resentment towards his travels I have to remind myself that he isn't sight seeing, or sleeping in (although he is sleeping uninterrupted without a toddler's little foot in his face). I know that Joe is aware of my desperate need to see everywhere and experience new places. I know our day will come to travel together. Sweet husband of mine truly would take me on every trip if he could and that makes all the difference to me. 

So to all these people who see me and are part of my tribe...THANK YOU! Your support is so important and helpful. I love my people. 

Always Stay Humble and Kind

Tim McGraw sings so many of my favorite songs but "Humble and Kind" wins hands down.  I feel like our world is becoming harder by the minute. The news has become unbearable to watch as there is nothing I can do to solve the Syrian war or school shootings or the Political circus or the Kardashians. Side note: could America please choose a classier group to be obsessed with next time? I am so sick of hearing about them everywhere. Anyway...it is a scary place to be and this can feel so overwhelming to me. I always thought that somehow I would be able to make a difference in it but thus far the only way I figure that I can, is to be kind and to teach Gemma to be kind.

I had a friend post a story on facebook about her sweet autistic son who had gotten bullied at an activity. He has become aware of his loneliness and some of these boys know him and still chose to stand by and do nothing. If just one boy had stood by him walked with him  eaten with him listened to him as he talked about his extensive lego knowledge then this sweet little boy would feel he had a friend. When I read that post I couldn't help but feel so angry. I have people close to me who live this too. Friends are not easy to come by because of physical limitations. If only we were kind to each other. She has started a movement to Make Kindness Cool Again. I am on board with this. In my young women's Class I see my girls act unceasingly kind to each other. It is so inspiring to me to see good kids doing good things being good people. I know kindness and good is out there....I like to believe that there is more kindness than bullies but the news doesn't report on kindness. 

In Kate Forsyth's book The Witches Of Eileanan, she wrote, "May my heart be kind, my mind fierce, and my spirit brave". I love this as a personal Mantra. When I read this book a few years ago I copied these words onto a post it note and hung it in my room. I found that note a few days ago and hung it back up. Being kind to others is not an original idea. It is a commandment we teach it to our children Ellen uses kindness as her platform and recognizes people for it...so really nothing about this post is original. I just feel like there needs to be an all over outcry for kindness right now. As I can only control myself
(and Gemma on occasion) the outcry begins with me. Literally. The daily part of my day where I pick myself apart needs to end and the mom guilt that should stop too. Feeling like I can quickly move into impatience with my two year old should stop....impatience in general. Someone who truly exemplifies kindness to me is my little sister. Going out in Public with her is a joyful experience. We will be mid conversation when she stops, turns to the lady in front of us and says something like,

"you have the most beautiful hair!'
or
"Your outfit is so cute!"
or
"I just wanted to stop and tell you that you have such a happy smile."
or
"You guys are the cutest couple"

I could give you a million other examples but I think you get it. I have this game that I play...after she says her random words of kindness I look at back at the person she just talked to. Without fail that person is happier. Smiling bigger, standing taller, a hair flip or two...one lady had tears in her eyes. I am so obsessed with words and quotes and books. I have files and files of words that I love and that make me feel something but my sister wins because she puts words into actions and is actively kind. She is living "May my heart be kind, my mind fierce, and my spirit brave" whereas I have pinned to my mirror. 

So as I struggled with what to do after the last school shooting I decided to live this quote. Like my sister I am trying to say the kind thing I think about the people surrounding me, take time to feel grateful, appreciate my healthy working body more, and serving in a way I usually only think about. You know how you see those facebook statuses that say Someone paid for my drink today and it made my day! I have always wanted to do that so now I am. It seems small but maybe it will add to my brave bank and lead to bigger and better. 

Back it up Buddy

It blows my mind how much Gemma picks up. My sister casually said "Back it up Buddy" to me one day and now it Gemma's New phrase. She tells me 100 times a day to back it up buddy with stop in the name of love hand gesture. It is so funny....well it was. Now after the third time of hearing it I can think of a different hand gesture I think is appropriate to accompany it.

I haven't blogged in a while. Not because I was SOOOO busy or didn't have anything to say...I just haven't. I have no good excuse. Luckily my fans (shoutout to you mom) told me to get back at it again. So here I am playing catch up as the last two months have been quite eventful.

First off, Joe took Gemma and I to Disneyland for my birthday and it was probably the best day ever. Disneyland is just a completely different ballgame with a toddler. Everything was amazing and fun and magical and beautiful.  I teared up entering the park...yes I am that girl. Gemma wanted to ride every ride and giggled and laughed and threw her hands in the air. So Proud. Meeting Cinderella and Minnie mouse were the highlights for her and watching her every second was mine....or eating a soft pretzel filled with cream cheese dipped in cheese was. I can't decide. While we were in California we soaked up as much sun as we could and spent as much tome at seal beach as we could. G continues to be fearless running into the waves, talking to all the people and for a blissful hour fell asleep wrapped in a towel. My whole family eventually came to California for my niece3 and nephews baptism which was so much fun. I don't see my California niece and Nephew enough so it was fun to play with them. I just need a couple million already so I can move their someday. California is the best.

When we got home from our warm vacation Gemma got sick for a while making us feel like hermits as we hid at home trying to avoid any contact with flu infested Utah. G has been loving her dance class. She talks about it all week and leaves class with the biggest smile and it is usually a fight to get her to surrender her ballet shoes to me. She and I are ready for winter to be over. I need some ninety degree weather right about now. While trapped inside, G has been working on toilet training. She is the most stubborn person I have ever met. She will go when she's ready on her terms her way wearing the panties that suit her current mood which changes about 500 times a day...sometimes she's feeling Minnie or elsa or Cinderella. Next time I am buying all pink underwear and that will be that. She is really motivated by prizes and stickers. Every time she successfully uses the toilet she gets a sticker till she fills up a row then she gets to choose a prize. It worked really well till she caught on and thought that just by going into the bathroom and flushing the toilet warranted a sticker. The best part of this whole experience though has been that whenever I go to the bathroom she jumps up and down and cheers and tells me good job. It is oddly satisfying.

Besides that my life is busy with the mom gig and teaching lessons at night or hanging out with the Young women of my ward. In November I got my dream calling (is that even a thing?) as The Mia Maid leader. It is a full time job....That pays nothing but you spend a lot of money anyway. It is so rewarding and fulfilling though. I love it and I love my girls. Teaching them on Sunday is still intimidating as all get out but I am getting better. It is an odd position to be in...I feel 15 most of the time so how am I qualified to teach them anything? They offer me tons of support and encouragement though as I learn. My handout are on point though. Candy is key. When I was a young women I think I missed the point of mutual and young women's activities....but I get it now and I recognize all the hard work and time and money that went into everything. I had great leaders who taught awesome lessons. I remember so many of them and kept most of the handouts. It is fun to pull them out and try to recreate them.

So now that I have backed it up for you buddy I hope to resume blogging on a weekly schedule to talk about what floats around in my brain. I do use this blog as a journal which is why I felt obligated to document our life a little bit.