Finding the Fun

My little sister introduced me to the blogger The Alison Show a few months ago. She dances all the time has crazy clothes guzzles diet coke throws all girl dance parties and makes cookies. Basically I love her. I even got to go to her Merbabe party with my sister and her friends.  While I enjoy her Instrgram posts and blog posts it's her new Podcast that has me all heart eyes. She and her husband produce a new episode each week. I started episode one while getting ready one day but I had to stop so I could write down little snippets of what she was saying on post it notes. On one of her episodes the topic is fun. She said "the fun is in you" and I may have started to cry. I am not sure if I have ever been "fun". I have a very fun family though. My big sisters are fun my mom is fun my dad is hilarious....my little sister steals the show and can turn anything into fun....and then there is me. I am the most emotional the most serious and the biggest people pleaser. Now I am in the stage of life where I feel like I clean cook take care of Gemma everyday. It is fulfilling work. It is good work. Having my family brings me joy...but is it fun? not always. The last few months I have felt like I FINALLY have a rhythm as a mom. I know I am not a "new mom" but...I am. I have never done this before! Gemma and I are getting into a routine and she is very patient with me as I stumble around and figure this out. I am getting good at leaving her with a babysitter, leaving her at night without putting her to bed myself. So with my new freedom I have tried to add things into my life that are fun. I joined a kickboxing gym, I chopped my hair, started being brave enough to buy clothes with color, writing a little bit, slowly decorating my house (it's only been four years) and trying to loosen up a little bit. I don't think I was always this uptight but after having Gemma my inner control freak takes over a lot. I am trying to add more fun into my life. I have even tried to make adult friends! Which has never ever been hard for me. I have always had so many close friends and lots of them! Now I feel like an island. Thank goodness for my sister who lives ten minutes away. She is my lifeline. Still....I would really like to have a few friends with a baby doing the mom thing...like me. I am learning though that it takes two people to have a friendship and we are all busy. It takes effort to incorporate someone else into your world. I am trying it out. I'll let you know if it works! But I digress....

On the Podcast Alison asks "think about times in your life you truly had fun". So here it goes.

1. I went to Vegas with two of my sister last year to see Britney Spears (cross that off the bucket list) Lay by the pool and eat... a lot. It was SO much fun. Dressing up and going out was SO fun. I hadn't done that in a really long time. Staying at a nice hotel and getting ready with my sisters was so much fun, buffets...FUN.

2. Going to Mexico with my parents and sister for Christmas the year before I got married. We rode four wheelers and drank Pina Coladas...I think I read like five non school related books. That trip was fun

3. Working at the Bridal Store in college. I worked with my best friends. I loved going into the store and  getting paid to play real life dress up with strangers and hang out with the other girls who worked there. I loved the Bridal fairs, wearing black everyday, and learning about the bridal industry. I really love having a job. That job was fun. I would work Bridal retail again in a heartbeat.

4. Dating Joe. The whole experience. I loved that he would pick me up on a motorcycle and take me dancing. I loved that something as simple as going to dinner took hours. He has the best stories. For the first time in my life I was going to parties and dancing and everyday with him was fun. A lot of that has translated into our marriage. I remember telling my friend that I loved him because of who I was when I am with him....fun! I felt so out of my comfort zone and it was amazing. I didn't know a relationship could be like that.

5. Being part of Model UN in high school. I loved being surrounded by so many smart people. I wasn't great at the speeches...but I loved learning about world issues and politics. I loved feeling passionate about women's rights, world health, and other topics. I loved traveling with the team. Definitely the most fun I had in high school. I miss it. I miss feeling that passionate.

6. Reading/buying books and writing A+ papers. Oh man I miss writing essays. I LOVE writing essays. I use to read two plus books a week. Now it is something like maybe two books a month. I miss ordering a massive book list on Amazon. Pure Joy. That was fun. When I had those professors that assigned the most amazing essays that brought out a self reflection I didn't know I needed. I would do My English Degree again in a heartbeat.

So here I sit wondering how I could make some part of everyday fun. I think it is a mindset. I think I can choose to make my normal life activities into something fun. Music and dancing it out is something that was a norm at one point in my life. I want to bring it back. I use to really enjoy baking but have been stuck in an unadventurous baking rut for a year or two. Writing for myself would be fun for me. It is so hard to free write. It is not my talent. When I am given a topic I can run with that. Time to work on it. I keep seeing girls on instgram running successful etsy shops or fashion blogs and I feel jealous I don't have those skills....then I remember my talent is writing and it is my own dang fault for not practicing. The fun is in me and I really want to find it. Life can feel like a wheel of days that all feel the same sometimes but I don't think it is meant to...it's just easier. But I think by working to add a ripple here and there takes effort but can be completely worth it.

My plan? Getting off my phone and watching other people have fun and getting out of my comfort zone. Get out and Do! dance it out, wear crazy colors, do something for myself and hopefully write it all down.

25 Things

I love my birthday! I hope I always feel this way even after I leave my twenties. Tomorrow I turn 26! Late twenties?...Maybe? 25 has been really good to me and also been a big year of learning and growing up. I wanted to write down the year's Top 25 lessons learned/realized.

1.I can do More than I think I can
2. It is possible to make your own world happy
3. Make a plan then do it don't just talk about it
4. Service makes me genuinely happy
5. Anxiety is manageable
6. Nobody is out to get me
7. I am not too old to try new things
8. Exercise is something I can do
9. I don't like being isolated but making friends as an adult is hard
10. Count your blessings
11. Be sincere even if it isn't popular
12. A relationship (any relationship) takes two people
13. Don't give in so much
14. Say Yes if you can
15. Go outside and Play
16. Lifestyle social media "Porn" is soul deadening
17. Put the phone down
18. I'm a good writer if I make the time for it
19. Me time is VERY important
20. I like living in a clean pretty place even if I am not a good decorator
21. My work is important
22. I'm not as smart as I think and need lots of help.
23. I still want to learn and do so many things
24. Even though I am a mother and an adult I still like being silly and immature
25. A shower fixes just about everything.

At one point or another I wrote these down on post its and put them on my desk over the year. I think I just needed to see that I was evolving and learning from year 25. Do you see a theme? I really wanted to find ways to be happy for year 25! I love love love being Gemma's mom but it is so flipping hard, exhausting, emotional, fill in the blank! I really needed to learn how to balance being mom and being Collett. I am still working on it but I am much closer than I was a year ago. I had a fairly easy pregnancy but postpartum was rough and my hormones threw me for a loop for a while...a long while. Like I said...I'm a work in Progress.

Ok enough bla bla serious. Lets talk Birthday Ritual. I have done more or the less the same birthday ritual since middle school. It is very important to stay up until midnight on birthday eve. Each birthday I choose a new song to represent my new year. Can I just say thank you Taylor Swift for writing I'm feeling 22 around the same time I was about to turn 22! Made that years song choice very easy. At midnight I dance party it up! Did you watch Greys Anatomy? Meredith and Christine dance it out whenever life is bad. One of my best friends growing up and I would dance it out whenever life was great or bad. Dancing just helps! "Endorphins make you happy and happy people just don't kill their husbands"! The next birthday ritual has been way more difficult since I moved out of my parent's house. Birthday Breakfast. Guys. My mom rocks birthday breakfast. There has been cake, hot fudge sundaes, waffles and whipped cream, and always with a candle. One year she had all my friends surprise me at a restaurant for breakfast before school. It just really isn't the same when you have to plan your own birthday breakfast but doing it myself does not eliminate the fun!  I am super lucky this year because my mom is in town! Two of my sisters and my mom are meeting me for birthday breakfast! So Excited! The last ritual I insist on is something cute to wear. I mean...obviously right?  Last and Most important is cupcakes. At some point. One year my sister Rachel had two dozen cupcakes delivered to my house while I was at school. It was the best thing anyone had ever delivered. The rest of the day I don't have a structure. However, since moving to Utah I go ice skating during birthday week. I cannot wait to take Gemma this year. She will love it. Because my Birthday is at the start of a new year, I treat it as my time to set goals. My main goal for 26 is Be Strong. Physically Mentally and Emotionally. I won't bore you with my plan of action but after thinking about where I am and where I want to be It is the first thing that came to mind so I ran with it. 

Happy Birthday Eve! Everyone Eat Cake tomorrow...you can use me as an Excuse. Calories don't count on my birthday!

Christmas

Christmas was so fun. Joe and I both agreed it was the best Christmas ever. Gemma was way into unwrapping presents. It took us a few hours but watching her was the highlight for me. Well...Joe DID surprise me with a cello. Learning to play the cello has been at the top of my bucket list for a very long time. It was the biggest surprise I have had in a very long time. So brownie points for the husband.

We got Gemma a climber gym with a slide and it has been the best thing. She will play on it for as long as we will let her. This has been such a great thing as playing outside isn't so much of an option. Her other favorites included twin baby dolls a fully stocked purse and a bike that she can zoom around the kitchen on. She also got a pack of Care Bear figurines that she has to have at all times. Christmas was really good to her.

Other news on Gemma, she turned eighteen months and is thriving! She is coming out of her terrible tude and is happy and sweet. She would prefer to watch movies and eat popcorn but enjoys music dancing and pulling Sookie's tail. We really like her. I can't believe I will have a two year old this year. I can't believe how quickly time goes.  She is a really good sleeper. We took her to Nursery and she didn't even look back. Joe and I could not believe how great it was to have two hours of church where we could actually focus. She is very social and really loved being with the other kids. Gemma remains strong willed and opinionated. Joke is on me I guess. Hope she stays that way. She loves babies...she will have to make do with her dolls for now!



For New Year's eve our good family friends, the Jenkins, invited us up to their new Cabin at Bear Lake. I had never been there before and I am pretty sure my new life goal is to have a cabin up there of my own. I have never seen so much snow in all my life. We spent the weekend sledding and snuggling and playing games. I read a book by the fire! It was basically a second Christmas. can't wait to go back again. My Parent's Got Joe and I a camera for Christmas and we had a goof time capturing Gemma sled for the first time. I had lots of help learning to use my camera and definitely can't take credit for the cute pictures we got. can't wait to learn though! I think I really love the snow when I don't have to

 

run errands and drive in it! We are so lucky to be surrounded by friends and family. I am So excited for 2017.