Finding the Fun

My little sister introduced me to the blogger The Alison Show a few months ago. She dances all the time has crazy clothes guzzles diet coke throws all girl dance parties and makes cookies. Basically I love her. I even got to go to her Merbabe party with my sister and her friends.  While I enjoy her Instrgram posts and blog posts it's her new Podcast that has me all heart eyes. She and her husband produce a new episode each week. I started episode one while getting ready one day but I had to stop so I could write down little snippets of what she was saying on post it notes. On one of her episodes the topic is fun. She said "the fun is in you" and I may have started to cry. I am not sure if I have ever been "fun". I have a very fun family though. My big sisters are fun my mom is fun my dad is hilarious....my little sister steals the show and can turn anything into fun....and then there is me. I am the most emotional the most serious and the biggest people pleaser. Now I am in the stage of life where I feel like I clean cook take care of Gemma everyday. It is fulfilling work. It is good work. Having my family brings me joy...but is it fun? not always. The last few months I have felt like I FINALLY have a rhythm as a mom. I know I am not a "new mom" but...I am. I have never done this before! Gemma and I are getting into a routine and she is very patient with me as I stumble around and figure this out. I am getting good at leaving her with a babysitter, leaving her at night without putting her to bed myself. So with my new freedom I have tried to add things into my life that are fun. I joined a kickboxing gym, I chopped my hair, started being brave enough to buy clothes with color, writing a little bit, slowly decorating my house (it's only been four years) and trying to loosen up a little bit. I don't think I was always this uptight but after having Gemma my inner control freak takes over a lot. I am trying to add more fun into my life. I have even tried to make adult friends! Which has never ever been hard for me. I have always had so many close friends and lots of them! Now I feel like an island. Thank goodness for my sister who lives ten minutes away. She is my lifeline. Still....I would really like to have a few friends with a baby doing the mom thing...like me. I am learning though that it takes two people to have a friendship and we are all busy. It takes effort to incorporate someone else into your world. I am trying it out. I'll let you know if it works! But I digress....

On the Podcast Alison asks "think about times in your life you truly had fun". So here it goes.

1. I went to Vegas with two of my sister last year to see Britney Spears (cross that off the bucket list) Lay by the pool and eat... a lot. It was SO much fun. Dressing up and going out was SO fun. I hadn't done that in a really long time. Staying at a nice hotel and getting ready with my sisters was so much fun, buffets...FUN.

2. Going to Mexico with my parents and sister for Christmas the year before I got married. We rode four wheelers and drank Pina Coladas...I think I read like five non school related books. That trip was fun

3. Working at the Bridal Store in college. I worked with my best friends. I loved going into the store and  getting paid to play real life dress up with strangers and hang out with the other girls who worked there. I loved the Bridal fairs, wearing black everyday, and learning about the bridal industry. I really love having a job. That job was fun. I would work Bridal retail again in a heartbeat.

4. Dating Joe. The whole experience. I loved that he would pick me up on a motorcycle and take me dancing. I loved that something as simple as going to dinner took hours. He has the best stories. For the first time in my life I was going to parties and dancing and everyday with him was fun. A lot of that has translated into our marriage. I remember telling my friend that I loved him because of who I was when I am with him....fun! I felt so out of my comfort zone and it was amazing. I didn't know a relationship could be like that.

5. Being part of Model UN in high school. I loved being surrounded by so many smart people. I wasn't great at the speeches...but I loved learning about world issues and politics. I loved feeling passionate about women's rights, world health, and other topics. I loved traveling with the team. Definitely the most fun I had in high school. I miss it. I miss feeling that passionate.

6. Reading/buying books and writing A+ papers. Oh man I miss writing essays. I LOVE writing essays. I use to read two plus books a week. Now it is something like maybe two books a month. I miss ordering a massive book list on Amazon. Pure Joy. That was fun. When I had those professors that assigned the most amazing essays that brought out a self reflection I didn't know I needed. I would do My English Degree again in a heartbeat.

So here I sit wondering how I could make some part of everyday fun. I think it is a mindset. I think I can choose to make my normal life activities into something fun. Music and dancing it out is something that was a norm at one point in my life. I want to bring it back. I use to really enjoy baking but have been stuck in an unadventurous baking rut for a year or two. Writing for myself would be fun for me. It is so hard to free write. It is not my talent. When I am given a topic I can run with that. Time to work on it. I keep seeing girls on instgram running successful etsy shops or fashion blogs and I feel jealous I don't have those skills....then I remember my talent is writing and it is my own dang fault for not practicing. The fun is in me and I really want to find it. Life can feel like a wheel of days that all feel the same sometimes but I don't think it is meant to...it's just easier. But I think by working to add a ripple here and there takes effort but can be completely worth it.

My plan? Getting off my phone and watching other people have fun and getting out of my comfort zone. Get out and Do! dance it out, wear crazy colors, do something for myself and hopefully write it all down.

25 Things

I love my birthday! I hope I always feel this way even after I leave my twenties. Tomorrow I turn 26! Late twenties?...Maybe? 25 has been really good to me and also been a big year of learning and growing up. I wanted to write down the year's Top 25 lessons learned/realized.

1.I can do More than I think I can
2. It is possible to make your own world happy
3. Make a plan then do it don't just talk about it
4. Service makes me genuinely happy
5. Anxiety is manageable
6. Nobody is out to get me
7. I am not too old to try new things
8. Exercise is something I can do
9. I don't like being isolated but making friends as an adult is hard
10. Count your blessings
11. Be sincere even if it isn't popular
12. A relationship (any relationship) takes two people
13. Don't give in so much
14. Say Yes if you can
15. Go outside and Play
16. Lifestyle social media "Porn" is soul deadening
17. Put the phone down
18. I'm a good writer if I make the time for it
19. Me time is VERY important
20. I like living in a clean pretty place even if I am not a good decorator
21. My work is important
22. I'm not as smart as I think and need lots of help.
23. I still want to learn and do so many things
24. Even though I am a mother and an adult I still like being silly and immature
25. A shower fixes just about everything.

At one point or another I wrote these down on post its and put them on my desk over the year. I think I just needed to see that I was evolving and learning from year 25. Do you see a theme? I really wanted to find ways to be happy for year 25! I love love love being Gemma's mom but it is so flipping hard, exhausting, emotional, fill in the blank! I really needed to learn how to balance being mom and being Collett. I am still working on it but I am much closer than I was a year ago. I had a fairly easy pregnancy but postpartum was rough and my hormones threw me for a loop for a while...a long while. Like I said...I'm a work in Progress.

Ok enough bla bla serious. Lets talk Birthday Ritual. I have done more or the less the same birthday ritual since middle school. It is very important to stay up until midnight on birthday eve. Each birthday I choose a new song to represent my new year. Can I just say thank you Taylor Swift for writing I'm feeling 22 around the same time I was about to turn 22! Made that years song choice very easy. At midnight I dance party it up! Did you watch Greys Anatomy? Meredith and Christine dance it out whenever life is bad. One of my best friends growing up and I would dance it out whenever life was great or bad. Dancing just helps! "Endorphins make you happy and happy people just don't kill their husbands"! The next birthday ritual has been way more difficult since I moved out of my parent's house. Birthday Breakfast. Guys. My mom rocks birthday breakfast. There has been cake, hot fudge sundaes, waffles and whipped cream, and always with a candle. One year she had all my friends surprise me at a restaurant for breakfast before school. It just really isn't the same when you have to plan your own birthday breakfast but doing it myself does not eliminate the fun!  I am super lucky this year because my mom is in town! Two of my sisters and my mom are meeting me for birthday breakfast! So Excited! The last ritual I insist on is something cute to wear. I mean...obviously right?  Last and Most important is cupcakes. At some point. One year my sister Rachel had two dozen cupcakes delivered to my house while I was at school. It was the best thing anyone had ever delivered. The rest of the day I don't have a structure. However, since moving to Utah I go ice skating during birthday week. I cannot wait to take Gemma this year. She will love it. Because my Birthday is at the start of a new year, I treat it as my time to set goals. My main goal for 26 is Be Strong. Physically Mentally and Emotionally. I won't bore you with my plan of action but after thinking about where I am and where I want to be It is the first thing that came to mind so I ran with it. 

Happy Birthday Eve! Everyone Eat Cake tomorrow...you can use me as an Excuse. Calories don't count on my birthday!

Christmas

Christmas was so fun. Joe and I both agreed it was the best Christmas ever. Gemma was way into unwrapping presents. It took us a few hours but watching her was the highlight for me. Well...Joe DID surprise me with a cello. Learning to play the cello has been at the top of my bucket list for a very long time. It was the biggest surprise I have had in a very long time. So brownie points for the husband.

We got Gemma a climber gym with a slide and it has been the best thing. She will play on it for as long as we will let her. This has been such a great thing as playing outside isn't so much of an option. Her other favorites included twin baby dolls a fully stocked purse and a bike that she can zoom around the kitchen on. She also got a pack of Care Bear figurines that she has to have at all times. Christmas was really good to her.

Other news on Gemma, she turned eighteen months and is thriving! She is coming out of her terrible tude and is happy and sweet. She would prefer to watch movies and eat popcorn but enjoys music dancing and pulling Sookie's tail. We really like her. I can't believe I will have a two year old this year. I can't believe how quickly time goes.  She is a really good sleeper. We took her to Nursery and she didn't even look back. Joe and I could not believe how great it was to have two hours of church where we could actually focus. She is very social and really loved being with the other kids. Gemma remains strong willed and opinionated. Joke is on me I guess. Hope she stays that way. She loves babies...she will have to make do with her dolls for now!



For New Year's eve our good family friends, the Jenkins, invited us up to their new Cabin at Bear Lake. I had never been there before and I am pretty sure my new life goal is to have a cabin up there of my own. I have never seen so much snow in all my life. We spent the weekend sledding and snuggling and playing games. I read a book by the fire! It was basically a second Christmas. can't wait to go back again. My Parent's Got Joe and I a camera for Christmas and we had a goof time capturing Gemma sled for the first time. I had lots of help learning to use my camera and definitely can't take credit for the cute pictures we got. can't wait to learn though! I think I really love the snow when I don't have to

 

run errands and drive in it! We are so lucky to be surrounded by friends and family. I am So excited for 2017.

 

 

 

Gilmored

***SO MANY SPOILERS***

I am an original true Gilmore Girl  cult leader. I remember waiting for new episodes to come out. Gilmore Girls has been my show since middle school. The day I learned of the Gilmore Girl revival was so exciting there were tears happy dances and pop tarts. I have been counting down the days to watch the show. It has been circled on my calendar for months. However, all the hype ruined it for me....Jimmy Fallon ruined it for me. Hello Giggles and just Facebook in general ruined it for me.

This show inadvertently has shaped part of my life and it has shaped parts of me. Embarrassing? maybe a little bit. I have dated a dean, a Logan, and a Jess. I have read all the books I talk fast I eat junk food and I have a very unrealistic grasp of reality. Stars Hallow is a dream destination. It is right up there with Green gables and Hogwarts. I love my fiction reality so much. I thrive there. Long before the term "Gilmored" became popular my sister suggested I write a book called Gilmored. The plot would be easy to write. Some people may argue Gilmore Girls has ruined me and made my reality unbearable to live in...oh contraire.

The past eighteen months I have been placed in the role of motherhood and damn it's hard. It is so emotionally and physically exhausting. Yet, nothing has brought me more joy. I love being a mother. On bad days I think of that line from Rory's High school valedictorian speech...My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don't know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her. Lorelai Gilmore has flaws as a mother. Trust me I do recognize the glitches in her parenting style but she did fill Rory's world with love fun music and books. I hope I can bring that much to Gemma's reality. My mother sure did. She did it effortlessly. What I am learning is that it takes so much work, dedication, discipline, time, love, and coffee to do so.

I digress....back to the revival. The talk and the bla bla of the internet world killed my excitement for the show. Sneak peeks and revealed story lines turned me off. Celebrities and talk show hosts weighing in made me angry. I felt territorial and protective. None of them could possibly understand the connection my generation of Rory aged girls has to this show. It is ours and Facebook was taking it away.  It took me four days to watch the first two horrible episodes. I could list out the parts that made me cringe or walk out of the room but there would be too many. The charm and magic was gone. Crass jokes and easy humor abounded in its stead. Paris...strong, insane, smart, insecure Paris was an absolute nightmare. She had turned into her worst nightmare. Her mother. That was not what was suppose to happen to Paris. Not a pending divorce. Not two children ushered out by the nanny and most certainly not that career. Paris was meant for more. Richard's whole funeral flashback made me sick to my stomach. My favorite male character was not honored the way I thought he deserved. The whole funeral flashback....can't even talk about it. Why was Rory so listless and unsuccessful? Her ego was bigger than normal (not a huge Rory fan..sorry) and her affair with Logan was all wrong. She said no to his proposal for a reason. He needed to stay a denied proposal.

Anyway....last night and tonight I finished the show. I had an emotional breakdown. I wish I was kidding. Sobbing uncontrollably. Not sure if I couldn't stop crying because the writing was so bad or because of the brief glimpses at Stars Hallow the revival provided. It all started with that song from that frightful play. Unbreakable. Lorelai decides to go Wild. What a great idea for respite. Choose a great book that means something to you and go do it. Austenland is suddenly making sense to me.
I realized Right then and there that I was not Rory. Yes, I have read all the books, dated the boys, eaten the food, and loved my Grandpa more than anyone in this whole world...but I am Lorelai. I have some bad choices and impulsive decisions under my belt. I make bad fashion choices and dream outrageous dreams. I really love Her character. I love how human she is. She yells and does crazy things. She has a past and shining moments. Just like we all do. As cheesy as it may be...I accepted a huge part of myself after this discovery.  The real bawling started with the last line of the show but lets not get into that. I just..I can't....yeah.

Moving on. Rory decides to write their story. Ok...why did she need someone to tell her to do this? Write what you know. Anyone who has ever taken an English class has had this line shoved in their face. To me this is a huge flaw in the grand idea to write the book. She would have thought of it. The fact that she writes it in Richard's study was such a beautiful tribute it made me feel better about the before-mentioned first episode debacle. It made me stop and wonder....what do I know that is interesting enough to write about. The list was there...short...but there. The whole episode...the good funny bad...it made me cry as if I had been mortally wounded. Maybe in a way I was. There was a little bit of good tangled up in all that bad.

Everything was going great. The story was redeeming itself. Sookie made the most perfect début. I really lost it when she popped up. She is the glue that holds Lorelai together. It would have been a colossal mistake for there to be no Sookie appearance. Then the end. WHAT. THE. HELL?  I cannot think of a worse way to end this. So please Amy Sherman Palladino. Lets have a redo. We need to revisit the drawing boards for this whole revival thing. You screwed it up so badly. You failed at capturing the Stars Hallow charm and magic. Five beautiful good moments (Lorelai's memory phone call to her mother, Rory writing in Richard's study, Sookie appearing, Emily deciding what processions in her house bring her joy, and Jess) do not make up for the horrendous mess you wrote.

I am glad I watched it. I will never watch it again. In fact as soon as I am done stress writing this post I am going to soak in a tub and watch three of my favorite episodes preferably with twizzlers and ice cream in true GG fashion.

This post is so rambly and weird but it was important to me to publish my emotional response to the revival and send it off into the void. "Goodnight Dear Void". To all my fellow true Gilmore Girls out there...stay strong. Don't let the revival get you down.
CopperBoom
Co

Book Review

For my birthday last year my parents gave me a kindle. In the past I have been very anti electronic book but now I am in so much love. I can rock Gemma to sleep and read I can stay up late in bed and read without bugging Joe and I have millions of books at my fingertips.

My mom called and told me to read the Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. My sister also told me stop everything and read this book. I have always enjoyed World War II literature but I have never read anything like this book before. I was breathing eating living this book. I read in the tub in bed while making dinner...I could not put this book down.


The book switches between two sisters each chapter. They have not always been close but, as sisters will do, fiercely love and protect each other. Vianne lives in the countryside with her daughter and husband living an idealistic French country life. That is until her husband is sent to the front to fight. Vianne must figure out how to care for her daughter and protect their little estate from war and the Nazis.

Isabelle has been bounced around from boarding school to boarding school. She is lively, and seeks adventure....even more than that she wants to help the cause. She lives in Paris with their estranged father. She is recruited by the French resistance and soon enough every Nazi in Paris is hunting for her.

“Men tell stories. Women get on with it. For us it was a shadow war. There were no parades for us when it was over, no medals or mentions in history books. We did what we had to during the war, and when it was over, we picked up the pieces and started our lives over.”

This quote sums of the essence of the story. There are many books about the men who fought and the lives they saved but there are very few about the women left at home to deal with the war. This story is about sisterhood, trials, and getting up every morning and making things work.

Read this book. Read it with Kleenex and candy. At one point I was in the bathtub crying so hard Joe thought someone must have died. The writing is so beautiful, the story is so raw.

“You’re not alone, and you’re not the one in charge,” Mother said gently. “Ask for help when you need it, and give help when you can. I think that is how we serve God—and each other and ourselves—in times as dark as these.”   

I love a lot of quotes from this book but this is one I wrote down. We live in troubled times. It is important to remember to serve where we can love always and be kind.

New with Us

I drove a red Tahoe all through high school and college. Her name was Ruby Blue but affectionately known as "The Hoe". I loved this car. I liked how indestructible I felt in it. I moved so many time in that car. Anyway...I have been driving Joe's little yellow car Honey and pretty much going mad crazy in it. It is too zippy, it is too fast, and it is too damn small! Getting me and Gemma and all the shiz out of that car was exhausting and I am pretty sure I have a hunch back now. Labor day weekend we were determined to finally get a new family car and we actually did it! So nice to have a car big enough for all of us and the dogs! Let the adventuring begin!

Joe started a new job at Embross and is loving it. He works from home and travels often. This wonderful job fell into our lap and has been so great for us. Gemma has figured out that Joe is down stairs working everyday and even more importantly...he has M&M's on his desk. She likes to check on him throughout the day. I love having a happy husband again!

Gemma goes to sleep and wakes up older every morning. She is so happy and spunky. She has several new teeth and new tricks...she likes to twirl right now and it is the cutest thing. My favorite though is that she will come over hold my hand and walk around the house or lead me outside. She could play outside all day. No idea what we will do all winter! 

It is so nice to feel like we have more time to spend together as a family and time to focus on the small things. We have been taking lots of bikes together and visiting the horses in our neighborhood. G loves horses. I can't wait to take her riding someday. Right now she just enjoys patting them and feeding them apples. Joe and Gemma mow the lawn together on the weekends. Its my favorite thing to watch. Gemma likes to help steer. she takes it very seriously. She has more personality than anyone I have ever met! I love it. 

 



Joe and His Farm Girls

We took Gemma to the Heber City Rodeo last night and could not get over her. She danced and clapped and laughed at every event. She fell in love with sheep and can now moo. She would moo at the cow and then laugh her head off. So joe was walking around with his giggling mooing baby and his wife telling him to breathe in the farm smell and naming all the horses.  Joe is in love with two farm girls!

I grew up in a city doing city girl things...I had a pet poodle. Nothing in my background says farm. However I have always loved horses. I rode when I could and romanticized riding off into the mountains. I told Joe we should move to Heber and buy horses....but wow it is really far away! I am lucky to live in a neighborhood full of horses that need exercise.

G has been so fun with all her words lately. She is constantly talking and jabbering away. Her daily words are: Yes, Preety, mum, dada, sookie, jersey, dog, mmmmm, and makes a variety of animal sounds. She is so expressive and it is pretty easy to figure out what she needs. That being said she is the BOSS. she knows what she wants and what she does now. I love this about her. At times her opinionated little self is a lot of work but her strong personality is exactly how I like a girl!

 Joe and I love to just sit and watch her. Church is highly entertaining for us. She waves to everyone and likes to visit with her familiar ward members. Recently she has wanted to take part in every hour of church whether it be entertaining the families behind us in an endless game of peek a boo, hiding in the curtains and popping out during Sunday School, or teaching, playing the piano, leading the music, kissing the babies, and collecting the hymn books during relief society.  The best part is she completely wares herself out and takes a great nap when we get home.