Ann(e) Said So

"I'm so glad I lived in a world where there are Octobers"
Anne of Green Gables

As previously mentioned I am a summertime girl. Hot days that warm you from the outside inward is my thing. However, I have lived in Utah for almost seven years (😱) and have a love affair with fall. Fall is a beautiful summer chaser. There's a few weeks in between the two seasons to mourn summer and then all of the sudden the leaves change the pumpkins grow and suddenly I remember why I love socks and boots and why I love Utah. I don't always love Utah. In fact I could list out 10 things I passionately detest about Utah at the drop of a hat but I won't because I can see yellow and Orange leaves. Utah puts on a beautiful show in October.

Utah also offers an endless supply of fall activities. Every picturesque fall thing you see in a movie or read in a book is available. Last year we had so much fun pumpkin picking drinking hot chocolate watching my collection of scary movies and baking. Joe has come to terms with the reality of our butter bill once fall hits. It settles back down around March. I'm not even a huge pumpkin flavor fanatic but I'm a huge fan of a warm kitchen at every possible second during fall and winter time. My favorite thing though is Chili and cornbread. We eat it all fall long. It smells good it feels good...Its a must.

Growing up in Arizona "fall" months were my absolute least favorite. Picture high school collett in September with a viola or violin overflowing backpack absolutely jammed to its breaking point MUN file folder full of research and MUN cash box. Now picture me walking all over our outdoor school in 100 degree weather. I was sweat soaked  10 minutes after arriving at school. Fall isn't really a thing. The cactus stay green the rocks stay brown and the sun keeps shining. As my mom would say "just one damn sunny day after another." So imagine to my absolute delight seven years ago when I experienced a real fall. The turning of each season has got to be one of the most spectacular magic tricks. It never gets old and I can't imagine living somewhere without all four ever again.

Tomorrow I am going to drive through the canyons with Sam Smith and Norah Jones....some old jazz music. Fall demands Jazz and slow love songs. I have been making playlists and CDs since the beginning of time. I have a song for everything. Each season gets a new playlist each year. I am still working on Fall2017 but so far its aces. The best part of my Fall drive will be stopping by the Provo bakery for Pumpkin donuts and saying hello to Campus. There were so many wonderful parts of being an English student at BYU but fall was the best. Fall semester was always better than winter semester. Reading every single assignment was actually enjoyable because a cozy blanket hot tea a book and fall go together like Lucy and Ethel. Sometimes when I'm behind on the dishes and I have sung Twinkle Twinkle Little star more times than I can count I start missing those college days. Hell, today I was missing high school days. I was driving along, happily running errands when I was hit by a tidal wave of nostalgia. How did I become a wife and a mother? I was 15 a week ago! Why am I not home with my mom? I  don't care how old you are but sometimes the only thing that can help is your mom. There doesn't even have to be anything wrong. Today was one of those days. I just needed my mom! It must be true that as we age we continue to think young. It is a beautiful and yet horrifying thought to me. Last week when I was fifteen I figured when I was the mom I would know everything and be able to make bread perfectly but I could not be more wrong! When does the know how for being a grown up kick in? Sometimes I feel like I have all my ducks in a row and I cling to those days wanting to take a snap shot of it's pure perfection to hang on the fridge because it is so much easier to remember the times when I fail and my ducks throw a rave in my living room instead of marching along in a row.

I started writing this yesterday. When I woke up this morning I woke to the news of the horrific Las Vagas Shooting. I do not even know how to resond to this. I have been thinking about it all day and I just feel sick. I have to raise a sweet tiny girl in this world where some people find it necessary to shoot up a country music concert. As of yet the authorities cannot uncover any reason behind the shooting. That is the worst part. It was just havoc. I hate senseless acts of terror and violence. I worry about raising children frequently. It's one of my anxieties. How do I do it? I read this blog once that said "I worry about raising my children in this world but then I look around and see other people just like me teaching their kids about kindess and goodness and magic." I wrote it out and hung it on my mirror for a long time, It is so easy (especially for me) to be consumed by fears and anxieties but as long as I remind myself that I'm not the only mother alive who believes in dance parties, long walks, chcolate chip cookies, ethics, kindess, glitter,  books, saying thank you and fall. There are so many just like me and so many better than me. I bet I could list fifty right now.

So as this day ends I cling to my faith over my fear and my love of fall. I'll drink my Starbucks Hot chcolate with whipped cream and pretend the calories don't count because it makes me so happy. I'll kiss up Joe and Gemma extra tonight and let Sookie sleep on the bed. I end this day so grateful for all my strength and glitter. I'll worry about my faults tomorrow.  I'll take my fall drive and show Gemma the yellow trees. I hope she feels the magic of fall.

September Gemma-isms

I really hate the term "terrible two's". I get that there are toddlers out there who may deserve this title but I certainly do not have a terrible anything at my house! Does G have her toddler difficulties? Absolutely. She never met another toddler...or dog...or mom she didn't love to hit. But for all the times she throws a shoe at me there are seven other things that make up for it. In reality don't we all have our vices?

Some of my favorites about G this month are as follows.

G is a very busy girl but somehow has found even more ways to be busy. This month her words really boomed. she will repeat anything and everything we say.
Some of my favorites are:
yeah baby: me-G want to go on a walk?
                  G-yeah baby
cinderelllala
jersey
what's this
I come? me-I'm going to the bathroom
             G- I come?
dance- she holds out both of her hands and wants to rock back and forth like in junior high but I will get into the dancing later
Hands? G-hands mum? she wants to hold hands 24/7 it is the best thing in the whole world.   

She did lots of mess making including destroying four MAC lipsticks but she did it the name of beauty so I'll move on eventually. She is really into her hair and makeup and clothes...she is pretty well rounded but there is a very strong girl side in there. G loves hunting for bugs and collecting rocks but all while wearing a bow of her choosing and an accessory or two. Everyday she checks out my earrings. After a thorough investigation she says "so pretty". I'm on the verge of taking her to get hers pierced but then I remind myself she will cry really hard and then I'm good with waiting.

Her latest obsession is taking a bath while watching Cinderella. It is her favorite thing and wants to do this two or three times a day. It is seriously cute. She wants her nails painted a few times a day as well. How does such a tiny person have so many opinions and know what she wants? It boggles my mind. My dad says it is Karma but I mean come on child! When bedtime rolls around I am usually over letting her choose out her perfect pajamas. My sister gave her some pajamas with black poodles on them and if they are dirty all hell breaks loose till I can distract her.

We are still taking Gemma to horse riding lessons and she is still smitten. I wish I could take her everyday...mostly selfishly as I would love to ride everyday as well. I will not live through my child I will not live through my child...please choose to be a trick/barrel rider all on your own!

OK so the dancing. She dances all day long everywhere we go and demands music and dancing at least twice a day. Long before Greys Anatomy I started "dancing it out". Bad day? dance it out. Good day? dance it out. Boy problems? dance it out. Sooooo much homework? dance it out. Dancing it out is on the top ten list of my life philosophies so the fact that my child wants to dance it out with me might have made me cry the first couple times. But I got it over it real quick as we were too busy dancing it out.

She is my absolute joy and I love spending my days with her. Heaven help us when it snows and stuck inside more often than not. She would play outside all day if I let her. My main grievance is that every time she wakes up  she seems older and looks less like a baby.

Day-th, Doth, Die-th

"A Daith piercing is an ear piercing that passes through the ear's innermost cartilage fold, the crus of the helix. In most areas this piercing is pronounced "day-th" although the proper pronunciation is "doth" rhymes with "moth"."

***I have spent the last 30 minutes researching the etymology of the word Daith and come to the conclusion that it is simply a Piercers term. ....Gemma is sleeping so what else do I possibly have to do? ***

After a year of deliberating, researching, and talking to piercers, acupuncturists, and experienced friends...or the random stranger down the makeup aisle at target...I decided to pierce both of my ear's Daiths. I am writing this post for the friends who are curious how it is going and for anyone curious about Daith piercings.

I have had migraines ever since I had Gemma. At least one a week. Now I say this feeling guilty because I have two sisters who have incredibly intense migraines and have suffered for years. I am not quite on their level of superhuman. I literally don't know how they live sometimes. However, I have these migraines and after two weeks of a consistent migraine I got in the car and drove to a Pierce shop I had been researching and pierced my ears. DJ pierced my right side first and I kid you not it was as if the right side of my brain, neck and spine took a breath. He then pierced the left side and I had the exact same brain breath. I laughed and I may have even cried a little bit. As we drove home I came to the conclusion that I have had a headache everyday for my entire life. I had never felt so clear, so pain-less, so awake.

It has been a full a month since and I have had exactly one headache since. Not migraine...headache. Curable with some Excedrin and a coke. Lasted maybe an hour. THAT IS IT! But wait there's more. Ever since I can remember I have had nightmares almost every night. Some aren't so awful but others have made it impossible for me to sleep, or want to sleep, or stay asleep. I believed that I had an over active semi dark Hitchcock-esque brain. As stated before it has been a month since my piercing and I have not had a nightmare since. I have had comical dreams, weird dreams but nothing that woke me up or fueled my insomnia. This has been my favorite part of my new bling. Words cannot adequately express the relief this has brought into my life.

So not only are my headaches and migraines gone, so are my nightmares. So dear friends if you are considering this piercing for migraine relief...give it a try. If it doesn't work for you then you can always take them out. I am aware that there is no science behind piercing your daiths, no Doctor stamp of approval but I am living proof that it helped me. I was at my Dr's office a few days ago and he noticed my ears and he mentioned that he has had several patients try the same thing and had similar success. PS I love my Dr. He is the best Dr. I have ever had. Whatever he says is gospel.

As most of my three readers know (Hi Mom and Dad!) I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka Mormon. We believe in modest dress which includes one set of earrings for women. However upon further investigation there is a "but" to this rule.

"Latter-day prophets strongly discourage the piercing of the body except for medical purposes. If girls or women desire to have their ears pierced, they are encouraged to wear only one pair of modest earrings." (https://www.lds.org/manual/true-to-the-faith/body-piercing?lang=eng)
I consider Migraines to be under the category of Medical Purpose. If you believe otherwise please contact either of my sisters or google symptoms and side of effects of migraines. I do not think I am less of a member or at fault for this. I am a better wife, mother, person sans migraines. I have more peace without nightmares. This was a good move for me.

Anyway...this concludes my bla bla on my current life choice. If you have any questions or would like to hear more bla bla on this topic call me up!

ps Yes I do believe my cool factor has gone up significantly since ;)

Summer 2012

My mom is a Canadian. She loves the trees and the mountains and white Christmas's. It still stuns her that she has two Arizona daughters who admire cactus, love the heat, and live for the summer....well at least I do! I wait around for the summer all year. There is something so magnificent about sun soaked days, summer storms, popsicles and endless afternoons of swimming.  My parent's always supplied fabulous summers. Now that I have my own family and I'm in charge I once again long to be the kid again! Mom's don't get a break. However, we had a wonderful summer. We road-tripped, flew on a few planes, swam as often as we could, ate an endless supply of popsicles, and managed to keep Joe home for summer's entirety. 

If You have met Gemma then you know that within five seconds of meeting her she will mention horses. We talk about horses all day. This obsession has been going strong for about a year now. So to humor her horse loving soul we took G to several rodeos this summer. She LOVES the barrel racers, does not like the cattle roping, and cheers on cue as loud as any full grown drunk adult. Joe and I loved watching Gemma love the rodeo. I would have to say that was the highlight of my summer.

After two months of almost consecutive travel, Gemma and I decided to join Joe on his work trip to Tennessee. This was a learning opportunity for me. In the past when I travel I do not make a day to day plan. Wandering a new city and playing it by ear is all the fun right? Well, when you have a toddler who needs to nap and eat all the time this just isn't possible. So note to self...next time we travel to a new place I will write out a day to day schedule complete with restaurant options. We really did have a spectacular time and ate all the things southern. The highlight for me was to be able
to see my friend Erin in a wedding dress. We sold enough of them together and had been there for each other's college high and lows so this was a really important event for me. You know those people that you can go years without seeing, but when you do see them its as if nothing has changed? that's Erin. She had a beautiful reception at a lakeside mansion complete with fireflies. Not sure who loved the fireflies more....me or Gemma.

Gemma is a fish. She would swim all day if I let her. My sister would make sure to invite us every time she went to the pool (because I live in Utah now and it is NOT normal to have a pool in your backyard) and G really had no fear this summer where the pool was concerned. She wore a life jacket and followed her cousins around that pool for hours. Next year I think she will need some formal lessons and possible and introduction to Synchronized swimming.

My beautiful baby turned 2. I do not feel I was adequately warned that my baby would get so big so fast. She is smart, fiery, curious, has an excellent slap, loves animals and books, loves to dance. She is quick, outdoorsy, loving, and I adore all the things that make her up. I wouldn't mind freezing her as she is now...but I am curious to watch her grow up.

Every time Summer rolls around I go Straight into Lakehouse mode i.e. buy every single book in my Amazon cart because obviously I will soon be headed for my Aunt and Uncles Lakehouse in Canada where I will spend a month lying on the dock reading a new book everyday. Someone asked me recently where I go to find peace and without hesitation I said the lake house. I haven't been in years but I can close my eyes and see it and smell it and I'm instantly happy.  Well this summer I once again did not go to the lake house and had to remind myself that pleasure reading time comes hard these days. I did manage to read a few books. My favorite by far was the Rent Collector by Camron Wright. I had been wanting to read this book for a while but when I finally picked it up and read the back I really wasn't sure why everyone was raving about it. However, I opened it and read three pages and didn't put it down till I finished...literally. Ultimately the story is about a young mother living in a garbage dump in Cambodia trying to keep her infant son alive. She discovers someone in her life can read and begs her to teach her how to read as well in the hopes that she will be able to someday teach her son to read thereby...changing his fate. When I was 16 years old the boy I was dating told me I was stupid because I read. To this day I am not sure what his intentions were. Why he chose to spit that stupid all over my face is beyond me...because if there is one thing I know for certainty it is that reading can only make you smarter, happier, and better. Anyway...this book had me connecting with it on so many levels. I read the whole thing with a highlighter.

Summer is ending and I am ready for a beautiful Utah fall. The magic of summer lives on into adulthood. Every year I think Maybe I won't feel it this year. Perhaps I am over summer...But nope. Summer 2017 was wonderful and new. Just as Summer always should be.

Finding the Fun

My little sister introduced me to the blogger The Alison Show a few months ago. She dances all the time has crazy clothes guzzles diet coke throws all girl dance parties and makes cookies. Basically I love her. I even got to go to her Merbabe party with my sister and her friends.  While I enjoy her Instrgram posts and blog posts it's her new Podcast that has me all heart eyes. She and her husband produce a new episode each week. I started episode one while getting ready one day but I had to stop so I could write down little snippets of what she was saying on post it notes. On one of her episodes the topic is fun. She said "the fun is in you" and I may have started to cry. I am not sure if I have ever been "fun". I have a very fun family though. My big sisters are fun my mom is fun my dad is hilarious....my little sister steals the show and can turn anything into fun....and then there is me. I am the most emotional the most serious and the biggest people pleaser. Now I am in the stage of life where I feel like I clean cook take care of Gemma everyday. It is fulfilling work. It is good work. Having my family brings me joy...but is it fun? not always. The last few months I have felt like I FINALLY have a rhythm as a mom. I know I am not a "new mom" but...I am. I have never done this before! Gemma and I are getting into a routine and she is very patient with me as I stumble around and figure this out. I am getting good at leaving her with a babysitter, leaving her at night without putting her to bed myself. So with my new freedom I have tried to add things into my life that are fun. I joined a kickboxing gym, I chopped my hair, started being brave enough to buy clothes with color, writing a little bit, slowly decorating my house (it's only been four years) and trying to loosen up a little bit. I don't think I was always this uptight but after having Gemma my inner control freak takes over a lot. I am trying to add more fun into my life. I have even tried to make adult friends! Which has never ever been hard for me. I have always had so many close friends and lots of them! Now I feel like an island. Thank goodness for my sister who lives ten minutes away. She is my lifeline. Still....I would really like to have a few friends with a baby doing the mom thing...like me. I am learning though that it takes two people to have a friendship and we are all busy. It takes effort to incorporate someone else into your world. I am trying it out. I'll let you know if it works! But I digress....

On the Podcast Alison asks "think about times in your life you truly had fun". So here it goes.

1. I went to Vegas with two of my sister last year to see Britney Spears (cross that off the bucket list) Lay by the pool and eat... a lot. It was SO much fun. Dressing up and going out was SO fun. I hadn't done that in a really long time. Staying at a nice hotel and getting ready with my sisters was so much fun, buffets...FUN.

2. Going to Mexico with my parents and sister for Christmas the year before I got married. We rode four wheelers and drank Pina Coladas...I think I read like five non school related books. That trip was fun

3. Working at the Bridal Store in college. I worked with my best friends. I loved going into the store and  getting paid to play real life dress up with strangers and hang out with the other girls who worked there. I loved the Bridal fairs, wearing black everyday, and learning about the bridal industry. I really love having a job. That job was fun. I would work Bridal retail again in a heartbeat.

4. Dating Joe. The whole experience. I loved that he would pick me up on a motorcycle and take me dancing. I loved that something as simple as going to dinner took hours. He has the best stories. For the first time in my life I was going to parties and dancing and everyday with him was fun. A lot of that has translated into our marriage. I remember telling my friend that I loved him because of who I was when I am with him....fun! I felt so out of my comfort zone and it was amazing. I didn't know a relationship could be like that.

5. Being part of Model UN in high school. I loved being surrounded by so many smart people. I wasn't great at the speeches...but I loved learning about world issues and politics. I loved feeling passionate about women's rights, world health, and other topics. I loved traveling with the team. Definitely the most fun I had in high school. I miss it. I miss feeling that passionate.

6. Reading/buying books and writing A+ papers. Oh man I miss writing essays. I LOVE writing essays. I use to read two plus books a week. Now it is something like maybe two books a month. I miss ordering a massive book list on Amazon. Pure Joy. That was fun. When I had those professors that assigned the most amazing essays that brought out a self reflection I didn't know I needed. I would do My English Degree again in a heartbeat.

So here I sit wondering how I could make some part of everyday fun. I think it is a mindset. I think I can choose to make my normal life activities into something fun. Music and dancing it out is something that was a norm at one point in my life. I want to bring it back. I use to really enjoy baking but have been stuck in an unadventurous baking rut for a year or two. Writing for myself would be fun for me. It is so hard to free write. It is not my talent. When I am given a topic I can run with that. Time to work on it. I keep seeing girls on instgram running successful etsy shops or fashion blogs and I feel jealous I don't have those skills....then I remember my talent is writing and it is my own dang fault for not practicing. The fun is in me and I really want to find it. Life can feel like a wheel of days that all feel the same sometimes but I don't think it is meant to...it's just easier. But I think by working to add a ripple here and there takes effort but can be completely worth it.

My plan? Getting off my phone and watching other people have fun and getting out of my comfort zone. Get out and Do! dance it out, wear crazy colors, do something for myself and hopefully write it all down.

25 Things

I love my birthday! I hope I always feel this way even after I leave my twenties. Tomorrow I turn 26! Late twenties?...Maybe? 25 has been really good to me and also been a big year of learning and growing up. I wanted to write down the year's Top 25 lessons learned/realized.

1.I can do More than I think I can
2. It is possible to make your own world happy
3. Make a plan then do it don't just talk about it
4. Service makes me genuinely happy
5. Anxiety is manageable
6. Nobody is out to get me
7. I am not too old to try new things
8. Exercise is something I can do
9. I don't like being isolated but making friends as an adult is hard
10. Count your blessings
11. Be sincere even if it isn't popular
12. A relationship (any relationship) takes two people
13. Don't give in so much
14. Say Yes if you can
15. Go outside and Play
16. Lifestyle social media "Porn" is soul deadening
17. Put the phone down
18. I'm a good writer if I make the time for it
19. Me time is VERY important
20. I like living in a clean pretty place even if I am not a good decorator
21. My work is important
22. I'm not as smart as I think and need lots of help.
23. I still want to learn and do so many things
24. Even though I am a mother and an adult I still like being silly and immature
25. A shower fixes just about everything.

At one point or another I wrote these down on post its and put them on my desk over the year. I think I just needed to see that I was evolving and learning from year 25. Do you see a theme? I really wanted to find ways to be happy for year 25! I love love love being Gemma's mom but it is so flipping hard, exhausting, emotional, fill in the blank! I really needed to learn how to balance being mom and being Collett. I am still working on it but I am much closer than I was a year ago. I had a fairly easy pregnancy but postpartum was rough and my hormones threw me for a loop for a while...a long while. Like I said...I'm a work in Progress.

Ok enough bla bla serious. Lets talk Birthday Ritual. I have done more or the less the same birthday ritual since middle school. It is very important to stay up until midnight on birthday eve. Each birthday I choose a new song to represent my new year. Can I just say thank you Taylor Swift for writing I'm feeling 22 around the same time I was about to turn 22! Made that years song choice very easy. At midnight I dance party it up! Did you watch Greys Anatomy? Meredith and Christine dance it out whenever life is bad. One of my best friends growing up and I would dance it out whenever life was great or bad. Dancing just helps! "Endorphins make you happy and happy people just don't kill their husbands"! The next birthday ritual has been way more difficult since I moved out of my parent's house. Birthday Breakfast. Guys. My mom rocks birthday breakfast. There has been cake, hot fudge sundaes, waffles and whipped cream, and always with a candle. One year she had all my friends surprise me at a restaurant for breakfast before school. It just really isn't the same when you have to plan your own birthday breakfast but doing it myself does not eliminate the fun!  I am super lucky this year because my mom is in town! Two of my sisters and my mom are meeting me for birthday breakfast! So Excited! The last ritual I insist on is something cute to wear. I mean...obviously right?  Last and Most important is cupcakes. At some point. One year my sister Rachel had two dozen cupcakes delivered to my house while I was at school. It was the best thing anyone had ever delivered. The rest of the day I don't have a structure. However, since moving to Utah I go ice skating during birthday week. I cannot wait to take Gemma this year. She will love it. Because my Birthday is at the start of a new year, I treat it as my time to set goals. My main goal for 26 is Be Strong. Physically Mentally and Emotionally. I won't bore you with my plan of action but after thinking about where I am and where I want to be It is the first thing that came to mind so I ran with it. 

Happy Birthday Eve! Everyone Eat Cake tomorrow...you can use me as an Excuse. Calories don't count on my birthday!

Christmas

Christmas was so fun. Joe and I both agreed it was the best Christmas ever. Gemma was way into unwrapping presents. It took us a few hours but watching her was the highlight for me. Well...Joe DID surprise me with a cello. Learning to play the cello has been at the top of my bucket list for a very long time. It was the biggest surprise I have had in a very long time. So brownie points for the husband.

We got Gemma a climber gym with a slide and it has been the best thing. She will play on it for as long as we will let her. This has been such a great thing as playing outside isn't so much of an option. Her other favorites included twin baby dolls a fully stocked purse and a bike that she can zoom around the kitchen on. She also got a pack of Care Bear figurines that she has to have at all times. Christmas was really good to her.

Other news on Gemma, she turned eighteen months and is thriving! She is coming out of her terrible tude and is happy and sweet. She would prefer to watch movies and eat popcorn but enjoys music dancing and pulling Sookie's tail. We really like her. I can't believe I will have a two year old this year. I can't believe how quickly time goes.  She is a really good sleeper. We took her to Nursery and she didn't even look back. Joe and I could not believe how great it was to have two hours of church where we could actually focus. She is very social and really loved being with the other kids. Gemma remains strong willed and opinionated. Joke is on me I guess. Hope she stays that way. She loves babies...she will have to make do with her dolls for now!



For New Year's eve our good family friends, the Jenkins, invited us up to their new Cabin at Bear Lake. I had never been there before and I am pretty sure my new life goal is to have a cabin up there of my own. I have never seen so much snow in all my life. We spent the weekend sledding and snuggling and playing games. I read a book by the fire! It was basically a second Christmas. can't wait to go back again. My Parent's Got Joe and I a camera for Christmas and we had a goof time capturing Gemma sled for the first time. I had lots of help learning to use my camera and definitely can't take credit for the cute pictures we got. can't wait to learn though! I think I really love the snow when I don't have to

 

run errands and drive in it! We are so lucky to be surrounded by friends and family. I am So excited for 2017.